During the 1800 to 1900, the wedding etiquette is that the father of the groom’s girlfriend should pay for the wedding expenses. Everything that has to be paid should be paid by the father of the groom’s girlfriend.
This was the wedding etiquette before because it is the father of the groom’s girlfriend who will decide on everything that her daughter should do, including approval of the man she would marry, the date of the marriage, and how her marriage should be celebrated.
You may now ask, why was it that girls agree to this wedding etiquette and allow their father to decide for themselves? Is this wedding etiquette still applicable up to this time?
This wedding etiquette was not being questioned during those times.
Any decision by the father of the groom’s bride is always respected.
Even the bride themselves did not think that they were being oppressed.
They thought and believe that they were being taken care of fully.
During those times, the father of the grooms bride feed his daughter, took care of her and brought her to lady manners school to learn and practice the right way of socializing, dressing, and speaking. Every teenage daughters in a middle to upper class families were required to attend finishing schools. This was done to teach the bride the proper wedding etiquette and to ready her for the life of a married lady.
So, when the father had decided that her daughter was ready to get married, he will announce his daughter’s debut and would held a party for her to announce her coming of age. All suitors would be, of course, under the father’s scrutinizing eye. He will only accept suitors that he thinks could feed and take care of her daughter.
If the father has chosen the suitor of his choice and his daughter agrees, the engagement will be announced.
Because of wedding etiquette, the father of the groom’s bride won’t ask a single penny from the father or parents of the groom. The father of the groom’s bride should have saved enough money to celebrate the wedding of his daughter in the way her daughter wants it and the way he, the father, wants it to be held.
So, if he wants an extravagant and festive wedding celebration complete with ball, he should save have saved money the moment he learnt that her child is a she.
Today, however, things have changed.
Because of high cost of living and that the brides are not too dependent on their father or parents and are earning their own money as well, the wedding etiquette has bent slightly. Although the modern wedding etiquette does not stop the father of the groom’s girlfriend to pay for the wedding, he is not compelled to refuse the help of the groom’s parents or their desire to co-host the wedding.
Getting married these days is very costly and it requires a great fortune on the part of the father of the groom’s girlfriend. Everyone can contribute to the wedding, financially and of services.
The modern wedding etiquette does not oblige or compel the father of the groom’s girlfriend to shoulder the entire wedding expenses, most especially if he now has a new family and young children that he needs to feed. The traditional wedding etiquette, the father of the groom’s girlfriend paying for the wedding cost, may still be done these days only by fathers with great fortune. Daughters should be understanding enough of these situations.
In fact even the groom and her girlfriend can finance their own wedding without the help of their parents. With couples these days preparing their wedding ahead, a year or two, they can have an ample time to save cash for their wedding.
But if the father of the groom’s girlfriends has decided to co-host the wedding, the bride and the groom should be sensitive of their feelings and should accept the offered help. Parents want to be part of the most special day of their child and we should not deny them in satisfying themselves by helping out cover some wedding costs.