One day a bride was talking to her wedding planner and said, Our preacher was going over the wedding vows with me and my husband to be, and when he said the words ‘obey your husband’ I just had to laugh. My husband to be got offended and started lecturing me about how the wedding vows of the church state that the wife should obey the husband.  So, now how do I get out of saying these words?

wedding vowsWedding vows are a bit of a controversial topic amongst the modern brides of today.  If you and yours are not really a church-going couple, then this probably is not even much of an issue for you. All you have to do is simply change the wedding vows to state something like you will love, honor, and cherish each other.

However, should you be marrying in a church, you could run into some resistance.  Your wedding vows are meant to be your sacred promise to each other.  For the numerous women devoted to their religion, it is simply a natural given that they will obey the husband.  So what exactly does this mean then?  Does it mean that he commands orders to you all day and night and that you respectfully do exactly what he wants?  Well, no.  Obeying your husband, according to the church, means more about the husband being the head of a family who leads a wife and their kids towards a more fulfilling life.  However, if you simply do not like those words, then just don’t include them in the wedding vows, it’s as simple as that.

If a preacher has not come across this problem previously, they must be relatively new to the church.  When it comes to wedding vows, it is highly unusual to witness a preacher who openly disagrees with the bride for the specific words for the wedding vows.

As husband and wife to be, you can choose to write your own personal wedding vows instead of selecting the standard version.  Hopefully this gets you out of the embarrassing confrontation with the preacher.

Now, of course, your husband to be may not want to write his own wedding vows, as lots of men do not really feel at ease  writing heartfelt words.  Should he be worried about not knowing exactly what to say, perhaps suggest to him that you can work on them together, since the wedding vows do not really have to be a surprise to each other.  When the time arrives to go over them with the preacher, tell him that you and your husband have created your own wedding vows.

Now, should you still want to use the traditional wedding vows, you can always change the word obey to cherish. Just make sure that you hold your ground on this, do not let anyone including the preacher force you into promising anything you really do not believe in.  So, as the bride, know that you are allowed to not want to include the word obey in your wedding vows. Feel proud about this, stand tall, as your faith and belief is equally as wonderful as the brides who want their modern day independence.  To each her own, as it should be.